The Ghost In Our Society
"Single women are now the most potent political face in America" - Rebecca Traisten
"Singlehood has emerged as an intensely ritualized and respectable style of American life." - Newsweek Magazine
"Not accompanied by others, Separate, Lacking a partner" - freedictionary.com
Why does out society hate on single women? The answer to that question is very simple, it is because we are the products of a lifetime of a gendered society that believes every women needs a man. And if you do not have one, well, you have failed as a women.
Did you know, American women now spend more years of their adult lives unmarried than married? So why again are single women "ghost" in society?
As with other groups outside the "mainstream" of society, single women are often targets of stereotyping, discrimination, and exclusion. In our government, marital status is a factor in 1,138 provisions for determining rights, benefits, and privileges. And even if those efforts were entirely successful, the growing number of people who are single would still be excluded from full protection under the law.
I guess single women should get themselves a man post haste! But before this group goes running out into the streets looking for "Mr. I Need A Man Now", lets look at some of the myths of being a single women.1
1. Older woman who are single are often very lonely. Not true. This group of single women have very low levels of loneliness.
2. Once a single women gets married, she will be happier. Not true. Single women often maintain the same level of happiness they achieved being single when they do marry.
3. When you are single, you are responsible for the weakening of society (connections and community ties). Not true. Single women are often more engaged in the community, offer more support to various causes. They even have a larger group of friends than married women.
4. Single mothers are bad parents. Not true. They have the opportunities and often take advantage of help from other family members, child-care support, and other single friends. They have even proved that it does not take a two-parent household to raise a child. Remember the saying, "It take a village to raise a child." That can truly be applied here.
I have been married, twice, am now divorced and in a relationship. During the times of singledom, I continued raising my children as both father and mother. I believe them seeing how hard I worked, how strong I was alone, how vulnerable I was, how capable I was, and how supportive I was in making them the best humans they could be showed them that being a single mother was a force to be reckoned with.
And even now, being in a relationship has not changed who I am. I still have the same beliefs, still support the same causes, and am still a force to be reckoned with.
Single women have more strengths, intelligence, confidence, and will power than their married counterparts. And before you start sending me hate mail, I do not want to put down those who are married and have that independent streak, I am just saying, being a single women means you have more to face from a society that believes you should be a "two" instead of a "one."
I believe it is time for society to see just how much single women have to offer. And if you don't believe me, just look as the past election. More married women voted for Trump than single women. Just a little food for thought.
If you like this post, please like and share. Remember to subscribe to receive biweekly post on social issues facing women and the stories of inspirational women.
Until next time, All You Single Ladies, stand up and be counted!
References
1. Sociologists for Women in Society Fact Sheet, Winter 2008 Prepared by Bella DePaulo and E. Kay Trimberger.
2. The single woman is a force in society—and a ghost in our culture, Anne Kingston
